Former Botak 1st and only choice Chong is apparently issuing reserve keeper Abu a challenge to see who the best Botak keeper is. At a recently held press conference the Singapore non-international jumped up and down a 100 times to prove his jumping ability. He subsequently juggled 3 water bottles to show his handling skills. On scene reporters were thoroughly impressed by the display, with members from the Moscow circus trying to sign him up.
A chest banging, ego-inflated Chong roared to the press:" I AM THE BEST. BEING FROM NDU I CAN DIVE BETTER THAN ANY OTHER BOTAK. I CAN JUMP HIGHER AND HAVE BIG HANDS. THERE IS NO WAY SOME MUT CAN BEAT ME!!!"
Chong subsequently threw a chair at a reporter seated in the front to demonstrate his accurate distribution.
Unfazed by Chong's outburst, the normally placid Abu replied at a separately held press conference:" I may be corrupted but being a HIGH jumper, I can definitely jump very HIGH. I never heard of HIGH diving, only HIGH jumping so I have no idea what the hell that mad Chinese boy is talking about."
Statistics have shown that the 2 keepers have let in a total of 20 floaters between them this season, leaving the public to ponder what the basis of these 2 keepers' argument is. However the general consensus among footie viewers is that Chong definitely should get the manager's vote of confidence as he has been with the team through thick and thin and without him the world would be a sadder place.
After going through a bout of birthday party addiction, Chong has since joined a birthday party support group for birthday party addicts where members share their experiences at attending numerous birthday parties a day and how much harm it has done to their lives. The misguided keeper has since partly regained the confidence of Mian-rinho and his team-mates.
Members of the media are speculating if this recent outburst by Chong is an attempt to show Mian-rinho his dedication to the Botak cause so as to get an improved contract with his current one long expired. Chong is believed to be asking for a basic wage of 2 compliments a week with a bonus of not having a ridiculous article written about him after he lets in a floater. Mian-rinho was less than enthusiastic after hearing the reports.
"I will have to break the salary cap at the club if I succumb to the pay rise Chong is reportedly seeking. I am the best player at our club and I only command a wage of 1.5 compliments a week. There will not be enough compliments to go around if any player surpasses that basic wage."
In other Botak news, ardent fans of Botak forward Choo are reportedly staging a protest outside BotakTrafford after the forward was ridiculed for the 1675th time by BotakTimes. They are infuriated by the targeting of Choo by BotakTimes and request that the magazine publish stories on other players as well. The last straw for the "Choo Contingent", led by number 1 fan Rit-a-mei, was a report claiming that Choo weighs an estimated 80kg.
A very emotional Rit-a-mei had this to say:" I don’t understand why our very own magazine is committing fratricide of this sort. Shooting down one of our very own Botaks is terrible. What's worse is that they continuously underestimate the abilities and contributions of our longest serving forward. Look at the fundamental flaws in their recent report. We seriously find it very hard to believe the Choo that we idolize can possibly only weigh a meager 80kg. I mean I have seen the man in person before and his love handles alone already weigh 50kg. Unless you are trying to say he is like this miniature 30kg man with 50kg love handles, I just can't believe those reports."
A greatly touched Choo is also reportedly going on a hunger strike to be in sync with the undying support shown by the "Choo Contingent". Officials from the Guinness World Records have rushed down upon hearing the news as they believe they will be able to capture the record for shortest hunger strike ever staged and also the record for hunger strike by world's most unlikely hunger strike candidate.
When asked about his thoughts regarding the matter, Choo violently shook his head and waist, killing 2 reporters with his earlobes and paralyzing another 2 with his love handles. Members of the media have been advised against provoking the normally docile striker during the hunger striker if they do not want to die of adipose suffocation.
Is Chong going to play for the Botaks again this millennium? Will Choo be trialed for manslaughter? Do the Botaks really surviv on compliments? HasChoo really sold his appendix to the KwayChup man? Has he made a fortune out of it? Has Mian-rinho rejoined "Sentiments of A Boy"? Is Mian-rinho going to be a scientist instead? Does Abu'skampong actually have coconut trees? What will happen to Abu's extra feet? Is Choo actually Park?All this and more on the next edition of BOTAKNEWSPRIMETIME.
Disclaimer: All above mentioned characters were entirely fictional and total remorsefulness to anyone affected by the above story.
Saturday, March 03, 2007
4:46 PM
Chong Trash Talks Abu!
Former Botak 1st and only choice Chong is apparently issuing reserve keeper Abu a challenge to see who the best Botak keeper is. At a recently held press conference the Singapore non-international jumped up and down a 100 times to prove his jumping ability. He subsequently juggled 3 water bottles to show his handling skills. On scene reporters were thoroughly impressed by the display, with members from the Moscow circus trying to sign him up.
A chest banging, ego-inflated Chong roared to the press:" I AM THE BEST. BEING FROM NDU I CAN DIVE BETTER THAN ANY OTHER BOTAK. I CAN JUMP HIGHER AND HAVE BIG HANDS. THERE IS NO WAY SOME MUT CAN BEAT ME!!!"
Chong subsequently threw a chair at a reporter seated in the front to demonstrate his accurate distribution.
Unfazed by Chong's outburst, the normally placid Abu replied at a separately held press conference:" I may be corrupted but being a HIGH jumper, I can definitely jump very HIGH. I never heard of HIGH diving, only HIGH jumping so I have no idea what the hell that mad Chinese boy is talking about."
Statistics have shown that the 2 keepers have let in a total of 20 floaters between them this season, leaving the public to ponder what the basis of these 2 keepers' argument is. However the general consensus among footie viewers is that Chong definitely should get the manager's vote of confidence as he has been with the team through thick and thin and without him the world would be a sadder place.
After going through a bout of birthday party addiction, Chong has since joined a birthday party support group for birthday party addicts where members share their experiences at attending numerous birthday parties a day and how much harm it has done to their lives. The misguided keeper has since partly regained the confidence of Mian-rinho and his team-mates.
Members of the media are speculating if this recent outburst by Chong is an attempt to show Mian-rinho his dedication to the Botak cause so as to get an improved contract with his current one long expired. Chong is believed to be asking for a basic wage of 2 compliments a week with a bonus of not having a ridiculous article written about him after he lets in a floater. Mian-rinho was less than enthusiastic after hearing the reports.
"I will have to break the salary cap at the club if I succumb to the pay rise Chong is reportedly seeking. I am the best player at our club and I only command a wage of 1.5 compliments a week. There will not be enough compliments to go around if any player surpasses that basic wage."
In other Botak news, ardent fans of Botak forward Choo are reportedly staging a protest outside BotakTrafford after the forward was ridiculed for the 1675th time by BotakTimes. They are infuriated by the targeting of Choo by BotakTimes and request that the magazine publish stories on other players as well. The last straw for the "Choo Contingent", led by number 1 fan Rit-a-mei, was a report claiming that Choo weighs an estimated 80kg.
A very emotional Rit-a-mei had this to say:" I don’t understand why our very own magazine is committing fratricide of this sort. Shooting down one of our very own Botaks is terrible. What's worse is that they continuously underestimate the abilities and contributions of our longest serving forward. Look at the fundamental flaws in their recent report. We seriously find it very hard to believe the Choo that we idolize can possibly only weigh a meager 80kg. I mean I have seen the man in person before and his love handles alone already weigh 50kg. Unless you are trying to say he is like this miniature 30kg man with 50kg love handles, I just can't believe those reports."
A greatly touched Choo is also reportedly going on a hunger strike to be in sync with the undying support shown by the "Choo Contingent". Officials from the Guinness World Records have rushed down upon hearing the news as they believe they will be able to capture the record for shortest hunger strike ever staged and also the record for hunger strike by world's most unlikely hunger strike candidate.
When asked about his thoughts regarding the matter, Choo violently shook his head and waist, killing 2 reporters with his earlobes and paralyzing another 2 with his love handles. Members of the media have been advised against provoking the normally docile striker during the hunger striker if they do not want to die of adipose suffocation.
Is Chong going to play for the Botaks again this millennium? Will Choo be trialed for manslaughter? Do the Botaks really surviv on compliments? HasChoo really sold his appendix to the KwayChup man? Has he made a fortune out of it? Has Mian-rinho rejoined "Sentiments of A Boy"? Is Mian-rinho going to be a scientist instead? Does Abu'skampong actually have coconut trees? What will happen to Abu's extra feet? Is Choo actually Park?All this and more on the next edition of BOTAKNEWSPRIMETIME.
Disclaimer: All above mentioned characters were entirely fictional and total remorsefulness to anyone affected by the above story.
