Tuesday, October 31, 2006
Botak Keeper future at the club Uncertain
Botak Number One in goal was recently tagged by paparazzi and ardent fans, due to his no show in the last 2 matches. According to Die hard Fan "Chen Loooooong", who fancies that his name sounds like the star keeper: "I am pretty distraught due to the no show. Apparently something must be amiss". And something amiss the paparazzi did uncover.
When the paparazzi arrived on scene, Congz was spotted having a good time with fellow soccer star Celestine Babi-yaro, at what seemed to be a bbq party. All this happened while the rest of the team were back in training. Mian-rinho, known for his strict discipline on and off the field, had this to say: "I will have to have a good talk with the young lad, see if anything's wrong. If nothing's wrong, someone is gonna get a hurt real bad..."
In the mean time, on loan keeper ABU has been training hard. The former high jump champion has installed specially designed springs on the sole of his boots, so as to obtain a higher verticle leap to keep out floaters. "Yes the floater beat me once, and yes floaters beat me twice, but No they won't beat me the third time". Seeing his new keeper's confidence, Mian-rinho has stopped distributing flyers in orchard, but has instead invested the money into better quality springs.
Onto a lighter note, Mian-rinho has discovered what is touted as a manager's dream. He is able now to solicit immediate replies from his players, by simply adding the phrase "reply now or you have small cock". "Indeed, I am pleased with this new method, for never have i received replies from 10 players in 2 minutes"- Mian-rinho. This speaks volumes of the 'volume' of the botaks. So far, only former singer DU, and Sookee model CHOO, has yet to reply.
Until next time, tune in here for your dosage of BOTAKNEWS PRIMETIME.
Eh eh eh..wa lao dun lidat leh..i so far onli miss like 2 games!! but reallie la..recently busy like mother hell..exams in a month..and trainings gao gao for ivp and ihg..sianz. want to play for e team..ivp soccer is damn stressful and sometimes reallie quite irritating..i rather play for botaks lo..at least everyone's happy playin together..nich..i tell u ivp reallie isn't as fun and glamorous as you think it is..it's damn freaking mother shag..and then every training and every game u play it's just stress stress stres..it doesn't help that there are very few freshies in the team and mostly seniors.
sorrie la guys i know last game i missed cos of celest's party..but i promised her damn early that i will go down la..so cannot pang sehs..then after that had to rush back to school for training..on a damn sunday..yups..i feel remorseful man
ehs next game agst poly team? when sia..hahas say earlier! if sunday 3-5 then i think i should be able to make it la..dun too late or too early can le!
yeah..sian diao..i reallie wish this was just the period after army...when we play every sunday and dun haf work or any other commitments to bother about man..uni reallie is can die.
DU EARNS BIG BUCKS! Botak star winger Du has just signed a lucrative sponsorship deal with Lee Kong Chian, the leading sponsorship company in Singapore, to become the highest paid player in Botak history. Sources close to the player revealed that the tenacious winger was contemplating between endorsing LKC or KFC, with KFC holding the slight advantage. However the tides swung in LKC's favour when they offered Du a $3000 tablet. In a released statement Du said:" I am very happy to have signed this deal. LKC is the leading company in sponsorship and I strongly hope we can work together for many years to come." When ask about what he would do with such a lucrative deal the fiesty player replied:" When a person is blessed with such a joyous event, he cannot forget the people who have helpd him get this far. As such I will treat all my team mates to a sumptuous meal of their choice regardless of price. In fact I will set a minimum price of $50 each." Du, who was once believed to have pursued a career in singing, is now one of the world's most coveted players. With his silky skills and tenacity, he has made the Botak right wing his own over the past 5 years and looks to do so for many years to come. However an inclination to spew the occassional profanity or two has gotten him in trouble with officials frequently, earning him the nickname "The Mouth". The signing of this deal can only further heighten Du's world status as the leading exponent of football and vulgarities. Botak manager Mian-rinho could not hide his joy for his star midfielder. "I am truly happy for the boy. He has worked hard for this deal and has finally gotten what he deserves. He is momentarily the man of the moment at this very moment and may be the man of the moment for many moments to come. His attitude is brilliant and his work rate is fantastic. I have never met a more motivated player. He is such a joy to work with. I love him. I really do." Mian-rinho is belived to be on the treating list. In other Botak news, the Botaks are currently facing a serious keeper crisis. 1st choice keeper Chong is presently busy attending birthday parties leaving the team with no choice but to loan Mut Team keeper Abu, the most corrupted keeper in the history football. Hoping to remedy the situation, Mian-rinho is currently giving out flyers in Orchard Road to recruit a new keeper. Will Botaks beat Poly Team next weekend? What will Du treat his team mates to? Is the BOTAK'S on-loan striker Keith able to fly with all this haze? Will Nokolos still be allowed to wear his WIG for the next match? Will Choo be Sookeeee's new spokesperson?All this and more on the next edition of BOTAKNEWS PRIMETIME. Disclaimer: all above mentioned characters were entirely fictional and total remorsefulness to anyone affected by the above story.
CHOO BITES BACK!Out of favour Botak striker Choo has recently retorted critics claiming he constantly wears a perplexed look. Members of the Botaks have also revealed that he is not very responsive and frequently fails to acknowledge team mates' attempts to engage him in conversation. The final straw came when he asked team manager, Mian-rinho, for the location of their match against Sabah...... In the middle of the match!!! He was subsequently given a choice between being fined $10000 or to forgo lunch for the next 2 days. After serious consultation with his agent, it is reported he went with the fine.
A week after the debacle, Choo's representatives have issued a statement claiming that the reason behind Choo's constant confusion is because he has fat ears. As a result of this abnormality, his hearing has been obstructed and he has difficulty moving his head. In the released statement, Choo claims that he canot hear clearly what team-mates are saying, as such he usually reponds to lip movementof any sort with a look of confusion. It is also understood that the fat ears have resulted in Choo being unable to hear his handphone ring or feel any vibration.
Botak officials are currently devising methods of communication for the rest of the Botaks and Choo. Initial ideas involve players being given sets of cards which contain words or phrases such as "pass", "man-on", "scorpion kick", "run", "run you fat (fill in the blank)", which they can flash to him during the match, or asking the botaks to pick up sign language. Others are suggesting that the Botaks offload him to their fiercest rivals, Mut Team, in a player exchange deal for Rai Han and hope the Muts fall for it. However the majority of the Botak supporters believe that the club should stand by their player and keep him as their mascot.
There is actually a growing suspicion within the public that Choo has intentionally fattened his ear so as to be Sookeeeee Jewellery's new spokesperson after the launch of their new 20kg platinum earings. Choo's representatives have rubbished the claim, stating the that the ear fattening and ear-ring launch were purely coincidental.
Will Botaks beat Poly Team next weekend? Will Beckham quit Real and sign for the Botaks? Is the BOTAK'S on-loan striker Keith able to fly with all this haze? Is there a clash of egos going on between the FA and Botakgang? Will Teoh ever win again in Mahjong? Will Nokolos still be allowed to wear his WIG for the next match? Will Choo be Sookeeee's new spokesperson?All this and more on the next edition of BOTAKNEWS PRIMETIME.
Disclaimer: all above mentioned characters were entirely fictional and total remorsefulness to anyone affected by the above story.
BOTAKGANG 3-2 TEAM SAHBA
Botaks once again grabbed victory by twice coming back from behind as striker Isac leveled from the spot and goals from unlikely sources KS and Sim who plundered a goal each to complete a second-half comeback and secure a 3-2 win.
From the first whistle, Sahba looked sharp and keen. The Sahba goalie took the kickoff and tried to beat Abu from 50 yards. A quick passing move between player1 and player2 resulted in a fierce cross that flashed a foot behind player3...
But the Botaks were soon into their stride and when Teoh robbed player 4 and then beat the left back to the ball outside the box, there was sheer panic until the last man scrambled the ball to safety.
Sahba failed to clear a succession of set pieces and corners with the ball bouncing erratically around their area.
In what seemed against the run of play, the visitors from Sahba scored from a freekick and the Botaks went into the break trailing by one goal.
Mian-rinho made a series of changes into the 2nd half and Isac's 50th-minute penalty had given the Botaks a deserved leveler with the visitors showing few signs of what was to come.
Botak's flow of passing through the midfielders constantly threatened to open up Sahba, who replied with a flurry of long-range efforts from player5 and player6 that produced nothing. Botaks pressed forward but were unlucky to concede another goal from yet another free kick.
Then Botaks struck again on 66 minutes. Teoh found space on the left for a cross which was turned on by Choo and only partially cleared by the Sahba last man. It fell to KS on the center of the box and the Botak defender created space for himself before blasting his shot hard and low into the corner of the net.
Last season KS scored the winner in this fixture, and his joy at striking again was clear for all to see.
Within minutes, Mel earned a corner which was whipped in by Isac. Sim who appear unmarked six yards out to stab his shot at the Sahba goalie, whose half save failed to avoid the inevitable. Botaks went on to win the game 3-2.
Man of the match Mian told Skysports, 'All the team played really well, especially in the first half. We played some very good football and the confidence is quite high at the moment. '
Choo, whose handphone is always uncontactable was extremely elated with the win, 'When we play like that, I don't think a lot of teams can do anything about it against KS and players like that.'
A happy and joyous Du added, 'The important thing was that we played as a team, we defended as a team and we're really happy with the peformance today.'
Abu, Nich, HB, KS, Sim, Mel, Du, Mian, Jian, Isac, Teoh, Choo, Junwei n brothers, Mich
Wednesday, October 18, 2006
After months of waiting, wondering and heated debate surrounding a young man whose superstar status has been built primarily on fashion and style, we were finally about to be given the chance to witness Nokolos Oliveira Lim in all his glory.
Nokolos Oliveira is one of the world’s most recognized sportsmen. Years of success on the field at BOTANGANG combined with a high-profile lifestyle off it had ensured him a rare level of wealth and celebrity. Nokolos is never shy in exploring the arenas that no man has explored. He is often the leading figurehead when comes to fashion n dressing. For Her Magazine has released a shocking story that recently, in a bid to reinvent himself, Nokolos has seized the opportunity and decided to have some fun, and invested heavily on a WIG. A picture of him seen in a curly golden WIG playing the last match against Meng’s team was also pasted on the front page of numerous fashion magazines.
In a follow-up report, Nokolos has clarified that it wasn’t at all a WIG intended to reinvent his fashion sense. In a shocking turn of events, Nokolos, an aspiring and budding lawyer, actually came for the match after attending a court case at the High Court, but has forgotten to remove his WIG. He simply played the match with the WIG on his head, which saw him put in a sterling performance.
Despite this, a legion of the BOTAK's short-sighted fans have gathered outside the country’s Football Association to protest over the seemingly approval by the FA in allowing certain player to wear a massive WIG during a football match. The fans have expressed concern over the safety of other players as the massive WIG could be a menace when used as a weapon to attack other players such as displayed by Nokolos in his infamous E-HONDA move years back. Many are at the time of writing still outside the ground with signboards berating the Football Association, most were dressed in the outfits of Edmond Honda (more commonly known as E. Honda) holding wigs which seemingly resembled the claws of Wolverine in X-men!!!
Sources close to Nokolos have revealed that he’s often late for matches due to the enormous time spent styling the wig as the synthetic horsehair material of the wig tends to straighten normally after a few days of usage.
Team manager, Mian-riho commented, 'This was a glimpse of what is possible from the boy. He is at his best holding the defense with his natural hair, but he can also be a threat while wearing his WIG. I'm pleased this big test went so well for young Nokolos.'
Will the Botak's win their next match at Fuchun this weekend? Will Beckham quit Real and sign for the Botaks? Is the BOTAK'S on-loan striker Keith able to fly with all this haze? Is there a clash of egos going on between the FA and Botakgang? Will Teoh ever win again in Mahjong? Will Nokolos still be allowed to wear his WIG for the next match? All this and more on the next edition of BOTAKNEWS PRIMETIME.
Disclaimer: all above mentioned characters were entirely fictional and total remorsefulness to anyone affected by the above story.
Tuesday, October 17, 2006
Just for the botak fans to check their eyes, in case Canberra Sec starts complaining.
After months of intensive head hunting, BOTAKGANG.BLOGSPOT's managment has managed to source out a replacement for the married Kenny Wong. In a shocking turn of events, taking over the reins as creative director is his wife, Michelle Wong. Sources close to the couple have revealed that while Kenny Wong undergoes anger managment courses, his wife will take over all bread winning rsponsibilities till his rehabilitation is complete.
Botak fans all over the world have expressed relief at the new layout of the site, claiming it is a breath of fresh air. There is also a strong belief that with the new changes to the site, the team's performances will also turn for the better. Despite this, a legion of the BOTAK's short-sighted fans have gathered outside the BOTAK's homeground, Canberra Sec, to protest over the seemingly microscopic text of the site. Many are at the time of writing still outside the ground with signboards berating the site management's discrimination against short-sighted fans.
Team manager, Mian-riho is contemplating dropping star midfielder Jain for the first time in 4 years after Jain claimed to be remorseful about his erratic running and short fuse. It is widely reckoned that Jain is more suited to a role in central defence and after numerous sterling performances in that position, Mian-rinho believes that to allow the team's new Joga Bonito style of play and to stabilise the BOTAK's shaky defence, it would be ideal let Jain assume a more defensive role. However with Jain's continued reluctance to take on a more defensive position, the BOTAK's player-manager might be left with no choice but to leave Jain on the bench where his mad,erratic running could be put to good use in retrieving balls that have gone out of the stadium in the quickest time possible. Fans have also expressed deep concerns over Jain's recent outbursts on the pitch and believe that an ongoing case of erectile dysfuntion might be the underlying reason why his prime targets are middle-aged, Zidane-like members of the opposition.
Will the Botak's win their next match at Fuchun this weekend? Will Beckham quit Real and sign for the Botaks? Is the BOTAK'S on-loan striker Keith able to fly with all this haze? Is there a clash of egos going on between Mian-rinho and Jain? Will Teoh ever win again in Mahjong? Can Jain beat the world record for the fastest ball picking timing? All this and more on the next edition of BOTAKNEWS.
DU AND JU! (: mich and jian. rita & keith
allos to one n all!
after some painstaking n arduous hardwork into reconstructuring the BOTANGANG
blog in a bid to revive it's original popularity, the newer n juicier version of the blog is finally out!!!
feel free to comment n improve...Botakgang rules!!
n we welcome back our resident columnist Mianster to say a few words in the next post!
over n out,
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
Over the past half a year surveys have been conducted by BOTAKGANG.BLOGSPOT's management to understand the drop in activity within the BOTAKGANG blog. Apart from losing our main creative director, Kenny Wong, to marriage and our resident columnist,Mian-ager, of SENTIMENTS OF A BOY to FRIZZZBBBEEEE-ROCKS.COM, the survey results also indicated that fans are getting tired of the monotonous layout of our blog and unanimously agree that a new layout might be able to revive the dwindling fortunes of the blog. Many visitors are also unhappy with not being able to view the second half of the web page and hope the management will remedy the situation as soon as possible. However on the top of the fan's long list of concerns, is whether a replacement for Kenny Wong can be found within the next half a year. Predictions by net experts believe a blog without a creative director will close down within one year, as such intensive searches by BOTAKGANG.BLOGSPOT's management for the next Kenny Wong are currently underway. Will BOTAKGANG.BLOGSPOT survive tis bad patch? Will the fortunes of the site be revived once the team wakes up from its slump? Are the writers of BOTAKGANG.BLOGSPOT afraid to post a match report after a loss? Will Kenny Wong continue to sell racks? All this and more in the next edition of BOTAKNEWS.
blog is dead ever since sch started..haven had a match for damn long ago..but today's game altho lost..there's alot of learning points right?
some things i feel that is commendable..
1. tho after a long lay off..we were able to play well as a team..we were covering more for each other n making more intelligent runs n passes
2. we fought for every ball n eat the meng guy upside down
3. nich's constant shouting 'AH DU WWAIT FOR ME, AH DU WAIT FOR ME...!!' before making his overlapping runs faked the opponents inside out
some things that need a change..
1. we need more matches
2. we need to update the blog more
3. my temper
all e best to those having midterms!!
over n out,