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Monday, January 29, 2007
11:20 PM

Choo Secret Revealed!

For years women over the world have wondered how a soccer player like Choo can maintain such good complexion. Apart from the fact that he does not get much playing time thus being hidden from the sun rather frequently, the metrosexual forward recently revealed his beauty tip, much to the exhilaration of the women of the world.

In an exclusive press conference the baby skinned forward proudly revealed:" I know my flawless complexion leaves many people in awe and I have been waiting for the opportune moment to release this secret to the world. What I actually do is roll around in the mud during games and leave it on for 3 hours. This way I am not only protected from the sun but the nutrients from the mud are also assimilated by the skin which does your complexion a world of good."

When asked which soccer field provides the best mud Choo was quick to reply:" The Bukit Timah field produces some rather high quality mud which contains lots of vitamin A and it has a special mineral that can detoxify the skin. That's why I go down in my free time to roll around in it whenever I can."

When interviewed the Bukit Timah field grounds man confirmed Choo's claims:" It's true sometimes he will come down and just start rolling about in our fields even in the middle of games. But the players don't really mind as it's an honour to have a celebrity footballer on the pitch. He would produce a trick or two as well, like juggle the ball with his thighs 200 times and it always gets the crowd and players going. But most of the times he just lays motionless in the mud so most of the play is not really disrupted."

For a long time Mian-rinho has wondered why his 13th choice striker has been losing balance so much during games but the mystery was unravelled together with the revelation of Choo's beauty tip:" Sometimes in the middle of games we would see Choo tumbling to the ground for no apparent reason and just lie there despite the closest player to him being almost 10 metres away. He has even been booked for diving before after one of his dramatic falls. He should have told us the truth from the start and save us all the confusion. I mean there is nothing to hide, the modern footballer must care for his appearance as much as his skills. I have now specially inserted a mud rolling session in our training regime."

However the Botak players are divided in their opinions regarding this issue.

The Botaks' testosterone-charged, chauvinistic captain Jain reconsidered signing a new contract after learning about the team's new regime:" I find it very hard playing with guys who are not putting 100% into the game. I don't roll around in mud and my skin is flawless. The secret is to always wear underwear. That's what I do and I've never had a pimple problem in my life."

A competitive Ah Du was just as adamant in his disagreement with the new programme. Apparently the tyrant of a winger used to pride himself with having the best skin in the team. Seeing his peers overtake him in the epidermic department is reportedly causing him immense distress. When asked by reporters what he is going to do about the situation he told them to "talk to the hand".

One of the few Botaks who has taken to new regime is on-loan striker Keith. During a phone interview from France, the forward replied in an Ang Moh accent:" I think it is totally cool. This way I can totally be beautiful on the outside and the inside. This totally shows that we are totally a team that totally cares about other stuff apart from soccer. Sweet man."

Another Botak who is in favour of the regime is keeper Chong:" As the Hall King I have to keep my complexion in tip top condition so that my legions of female fans won't be disappointed and this new method has proven wonders. Sometimes I even Da Pao some home for my family and friends and they love it."

Is Choo gay? I s Keith turning Ang Moh? Is Mian-rinho going to be a scientist instead? Does Abu's kampong actually have coconut trees? Does Robo-Liang wear underwar for matches? What will happen to Abu's extra feet? Who was the Botak who contracted GFC? Is Choo actually Park?Has Nokolos permanently attached his wig? All this and more on the next edition of BOTAKNEWS PRIMETIME.

Disclaimer: All above mentioned characters were entirely fictional and total remorsefulness to anyone affected by the above story.

Saturday, January 27, 2007
11:50 AM

written by our guest writer:

The Art of Defending

Defending is the art of decreasing time, space and options available to your opponents...... whether it be a pass, dribble, shot or denying them the ultimate, a goal.Defending should occur all over the pitch and this should be a primary objective of all your team players when your team is not in possession of the ball.For your team, individual and collective defending will be required. Players should possess technical and tactical qualities as well as being able to demonstrate patience, concentration and a great deal of self discipline. Every position on the pitch requires your players to be able to break up or slow the play down by putting in a challenge. There are three primary objectives in defending:Preventing the opposition from turning with the ball and keeping possession.Keeping the play in front of your defenders.Directing the play, even if your team is not in possession they can dictate where they will allow play to develop.Yup that was taken from a youth coaching site... Anyway for me personally even if you're not strong technically the key thing in defending is effort and positional discipline. And cover for each other, thats all. Seeing Cannavaro win the FIFA WORLD player of the year made me recall his defensive exploits in the World cup, which in turn inspired me to read more about defending.
Hope it lasts, =)

Thursday, January 04, 2007
11:29 PM

New year countdown at Keith's was a blast...great food, great drinks, n most importantly great company..sal only agrees to send this pic...whoever wan more pics can bug her for more..bon voyage to keith n see u soon man...mian next match when???


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